My way of life these days

Breakfast: 1/2 cup rolled oats with 80ml lite soy milk and 20 gm protein pdr

Mid Morning: An apple and 12 unsalted almonds

Lunch: Cucumber, tomato, John West smoked salmon (drained), Beetroot, and any salady type stuff with 150gm of home baked bread

Mid arvo: 250g berries, 220 plain yoghurt and 40g protein pdr (I usually just whizz it into a smoothie and have half now and half post dinner)

Dinner: 220gm fish or kangaroo with veggies

I exercise monday to friday and clock up about 10 hours of exercise and a cpl more hours of walking.

I have decided that this is the way I want to eat for the rest of my life and do not like calling it a diet. I avergae upto 1500 calories a day and of these I ensure that fat % is about 15% and no more. The calorieking website is great for this as it works it all out for me. I know that there are days when I will eat rubbish but I am hoping that these days will be no more than once a week. I am also trying not to focus on weight as it does my head in. I know in my head that I feel a lot better than before by doing these things. I will weigh and measure myself once a month and then forget all about it. These days I like myself a little bit more which is a huge thing for me. It is still summer here in Melbourne, Australia and so I hope to get some bike rides in with my husband. Thats the plan for the summer so lets see what happens.

In terms of recipes, hubby and I are experimenting a lot more with food. One salad I absolutely love is the one where we use rocket or arugula leaves, some lettuce and spinach, crumble in some low fat feta cheese, chop finely cucumber, red and green capsicum and thinly slice some radish. In this we finely slice some red chilli which has been soaked in vinegar....this is available from our supermarket and then we also hand crush some capers and mash em into the chilli paste which we run into the chopped salad. Lastly we sprinkle some lemon juice on this salad and sprinkle some cracked pepper. This, we eat with a side of some form of protein such as fish or kangaroo and it is so yummy.

My displaced hormones

The days I find really really difficult are those where I feel like I am not in control of my eating. I feel almost as though I am hypnotised and am totally under the power of a strong force within me. These are usually moments when I am staring at chocolates in the supermarket and am having a full blown conversation with myself as to whether I should go for the family bar or be 'good' and only have a couple of pieces of the rather yummy fudge. Then  I also go through the parallel conversation with the other side of my head that tells me that it isnt really good to have either and I try and think of how painful the gym workout was even though it made me feel great and challenged and all things good. I seem to have improved in some areas as these days I only go through these chats within my head during my period. Which brings me to the 'now'. I have been going crazy feeling like burying my head into a chocolate laden cake and cannot seem to.

Hence to gain some perspective I am going to list some reasons as to why I really want to lose this weight:

 - To look and feel healthy
 - To live longer - at present I am morbidly obese and I do not want to die of stroke.
 - TO HAVE A CHILD with the lovely man I call 'my husband, my partner, my love and also my BESTEST FRIEND in the whole wide world'.

There are all these clothes I have bought in the years gone by to have that sexy corporate look. Today I was going through my boxes as we are moving to our first home. I could not fit into any but I remember thinking of the moment when I bought these clothes. I felt I was just about to fit into the clothes and it was only a matter of time....mayb 6 months at most. I never in my  wildest imagination thought that 6 years later I was yet to fit my arse into the pants. These clothes, being classic can still be worn and now I still feel that I cannot give these clothes away as I must give it one last shot and try and fit into them by the end of this year. So these clothes will be taken to the new place and stashed away at the back of my cupboard. The clothes are not all that unrealistic to fit into either. They are all sizes 14 or 16 australian. However it will require a stronger sense of commitment that I have right now. I am proud of being really healthy at present but I cannot make too many mistakes if I am to fit my arse into the pants. I know that I have at least 10-12 kilos to lose before I can even dream of getting into the pants and shirts but I know that as long as I record my thoughts in my blog and read other blogs and their challenges, successes and journey and as long as I try and be the best that I can be, I will be right. I do not want to over-focus on a weight number as that will just do my head in and if I do not see the number I want I will be absolutely shattered.

So I need to get back to the food diary and not miss any gym and most of all pretty much 'EAT LESS  MOVE MORE'. By 'eat less' I do not mean that I should starve, it just means that I should do what I am doing and just increase my protein a bit more. Calories wise I will aim for 1300-1400 calories a day.

A kilo less and continued consistency required

Since my last blog I have lost 1.2 kilos in 13 days. To some this alone might be cause for celebration but moi!! This is how I reacted.....

Initially it seemed to me that the weightloss was very little. I was working on 1500 calories a day and exercising a total of 12 intense hours a week. In fact in week 1 I lost 100gms and I was really shattered. I had really been anal about the food I was eating and making sure that it was good wholesome food. I was not eating out and I was also making sure that whatever I was eating was good fibrous food and not fatty junk.

Breakfast was oats and soymilk
Lunch 2 pieces of home baked bread with loads of salad and no dressing and a can of tinned and drained salmon
Mid arvo I make up a strawberry smoothie with some protein powder
Dinner usually comprises of some form of salad and kangaroo meat or tofu etc

So why wasnt I losing more weight?

One answer I have gotten is that a loss of 1.2 kilos is not too bad for 13 days and that weightloss for me might mean a consistent approach. In the past what has happened for me is that I have given up time and time again when I have not seen weightloss worth the name. I seem to expect that as long as I do my bit it should just drop off. Whereas what I need to remember is that I need to forget about the weightloss bit and just continue to be healthy and that it will all fall into place on its own.

My trainer at gym tells me that I should not be looking at the weighing scaled even once a week and should look at them once in 6 weeks and at that point also get my fat and muscle percentage assessed at the same time to identify how much fat and muscle ratio has changed and go from there. This seems like good advice and so for the next 2 weeks I will give this a shot.

4, 5 pick up sticks.....

Day 4 and 5 have been relatively good. Protein shakes were introduced yesterday. I have found in the past that the level of protein I would like to have is simply not achievable without the protein shakes. It seems to be the quickest and most efficient way to get some protein into me. I do not really eat meats other than kangaroo and hence find that this helps me with my protein requirement.

One of the things I am finding very challenging is drinking water. Thanks to Lyns blog I came across the water link which tells me that I am to drink 4 litres. Today I have achieved 3.6 litres. It is so hard to consume 4 litres of water!!! But I will persevere as I do feel a lot better already.

Exercising has been hard. Each part of my body aches and moans and groans but I do it. It makes me feel much better and I feel happier when it is all over and done with. Today I did 3 km in 28mins and 40 seconds and am very proud of myself. I did not think I could. I ran and walked hard and panted and died a million deaths but did it. This time might not seem like anything to some that race through and boy at the gym I did see some girls run and run. However for me this is a huge achievement and I am happy. I did weights and all up my workout weights and cardio laster an hour and a half and I felt good right after. I walk to the gym and back which is a 15 min walk across a hill and back. So I had all up 2 hours of exercise. Excellent.

Foodwise I sort of stuffed up today. I am trying to keep my calories to 1500 and fat intake to between 15-20% of my daily intake but as I was hungry and waiting for husband to get home from work I ate a handful of walnuts which took the fat from 18% to 50%. Blew it out completely. Although my calories also went up to about 1600 calories which is not too bad, it was annoying to blow out fat wise. Moral of the story: eat your dinner if husband is late instead of pecking around! Well I also had the opportunity to analyse why I was that hungry especially having drunk so much H2O and realised that fibre was a trite low during lunch and this means more salad at lunch.  I am pleased though that I did not reach for shit food but reached for the good fat option - walnuts albeit will closely check out the quantity next time.

Post dinner husband and I went for a little walk round the block. Hubby observed that I was smiling a lot more than I used to and seemed to have more energy even though each muscle was aching. I am looking forward to Tuesdays weigh in...lets see if I have broken ground!!!

Day 3 of eating healthy and learning to live a little

My wonderful husband asked if I would go for a picnic with him just out of the blue last evening/night. I agreed and so off we went to our favourite picnic spot which although is right in the city has not been discovered..YET! The picture shows our dinner last night and the bottle of beer belongs to my husband and not me. I had a diet gingerbeer. Organising all of this took hardly any time and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. Kangaroo meat with red and green capsicum, mushrooms and tomato. The kangaroo was marinaded in ginger-garlic paste and lemon juice and some cracked pepper et voila!! I am learning that I do not have to wait to enjoy my life until I lose the weight. Being back on my routine, my husband already commented that I was smiling a lot more and seemed a lot happier and relaxed.

It seems to me that I keep things on standby for when I lose weight. What tends to happen is that life tends to go by and I make and break a thousand promises (each time learning a little mind you!) and I find the weight is still there plus or minus a little and I am still sitting on the weightloss platform waiting for the weight train to rumble past so I can put my weighty lard suitcases in. This time I am learning that it is okay to live whilst in your journey to betterment. Whats more - it is healthy for the self and all those around you to do so.

I am excited about myself and the changes to me. So there is good news...I have stuck to eating healthy and have been feeling really good since 3 days. I feel healthy and am not hungry a lot of the time. Of course the greed pangs have not hit home yet. But when they do I will try hard to wait for the one item a week that I am allowed to have. My calories will be around the 1500 mark keeping focus on fat and sugars and I will allow myself one item each week. So it wont be an all day food fiesta but a one item thing only which will be my crave of the week. It will not be a reward at all. I am still thinking of what my 5kilo reward will be and then the 11.1 kilo reward. I weigh 111 kilos at present and a loss of 11.1 will take me to double figures. So here is me raring to go.

Today I also visited the gym and spoke with the nutrition girl. On showing her my food diary I was pleased to note that I have been eating well and very little tweaking was required. Tweaking done, I found that I can now eat more berries and yoghurt. Nutrition-girl also asked me to think of goals and rewards for the next 5 weeks. My goal is a 7 kilo loss in the coming 5 weeks which will take me to 8 Feb. The reward is a bit harder to pick, especially since it cannot be a food related reward. Having rewarded myself with food all along this is challenging. I will give myself one more night to think of this. Suggestions are welcome!

I also weighed myself and am now 111 kilos. In terms of exercise I will be working out from Mon to Fri with additional exercise routine in the afternoons on Mon, wed and Fri. I will also incorporate cycling on the weekends and will try and accompany my husband by bicycle to his office and find my way back most days of the week. All up this will be a round trip of 9 km.

My workout today was also a killer. 1.45 minutes of weights and cardio and also running up and down the stairs 16 times, rowing for 10 mins continuously..and so many other things. But I have taken a month off to be as healthy as can be and so no complaints from my end....I am just glad the show is on the road!

A great first day

I had a hugely successful first day. I have worked out that I will not go beyond 1700 calories a day although the effort is to keep the calories to between 12-1500 calories. Calorieking is a great website for adding in the information and keeping track. I find that this method works best for me as I cannot be bothered looking up information and noting it down everytime I eat. I like things simple and this makes it easy for me. So yesterdays results were as below.
Calories
You have used 1415 out of your net daily budget of 1700 calories and have 285 calories remaining. 29% of the calories are from fat, 22% from protein, 49% from carbs and 0% from alcohol.
Fat 43.6 / 50g
Protein 76.3 / 114g
Carb. 169 / 200g
What I can take away from the above results is that it was a great day but I could do with a bit more protein. I did not feel starved by any stretch of imagination as I did eat loads of salad and mixed it up with veggies etc. I miss dessert and so I took 100 gms of yoghurt and threw some berries in it and also some pomegranate in it with splenda and froze it a bit. After dinner this was my dessert and the freshness and semi ice-cream feel made it delicious.

Activity wise I would have walked around 10-12 km with my husband. We needed to buy something from Xmas sales and instead of taking the train and tram we walked. I felt mighty proud of completing the walk. My legs ached initially and I could feel a lower back ache but I plodded on. We did end up having 2 coffees but the way we do it is to have half a coffee each and enjoy it. I now find that I cannot have a full coffee on my own. This way we save money and also enjoy 2 pitstops. Although this did not start as a $$$$ saving drill, it is a good strategy to have towards being healthy.

My weight and my measurements are...

My weight and my measurements are...
It is the 1st of January 2010 and I am back. This is not going to be one of the new year resolutions where I promise to be healthy for ever and ever. I am here simply because i have had the epiphany that I must be back here for my health and must get back on the horse again!

My stats:
Boobs 125.5 cm
Waist 132.5 cm
Abdomen 131 cm
Thigh 81 cm
Calf 49 cm
Arm 45 cm
Weight 113 or 114 kg by my weighing scales which are usually not trustworthy so I will wait and get to my gym and go with those as those are the digital ones I usually follow.

The Plan: I have taken the rest of the month off from work to focus on getting a good start, eating well, exercising well and being healthy and active. It is becoming more and more important to me to become healthy and seeing that I am approaching the big 40 in the end of March, I want to give myself the chance to becoming as close to healthy as I have ever been. I have had a reasonably unhealthy Xmas where it isnt the typical story of 'its Xmas and of course everyone indulges in excess'. However, I have identified that the moment I smell a whiff of success I immediately indulge in self sabotage. What is annoying is that after finally identifying it, I continued to do it yet again and this time I am determined not to do so again. Hence, like a meditation course, I am devoting a month to myself where I am the focus. I have never done this before in my life and I dont know if i will ever have the opportunity to do so again - after all, I am not a millionaire that can afford to not go to work!! Further details of this one month time off decision will be take the form of another blog.

My Team: consists of my trainer and his wife who is into nutrition and most of all my husband. I have been banned from taking on the role of housewife meanwhile as my gorgeous husband reckons that as this month is all about getting a really good start, the focus must continue to be activity and nutrition as I will be challenged in every way and getting bogged down in becoming the housewife will firstly end up with me spending more time in household chores after gym and also having to deal with more temptations and secondly it will take me away from experimenting with other activities I may not have tried before.Our gameplan is for me to be busy and active to the point where I will sleep well because my body will have earned it, I will have tired it to satisfying levels and hence instead of cooking and ironing whilst Dr Phil and Oprah will wax eloquent, I will be either jogging my brain in a library in between gym and swimming or explore Melbourne cycling along the Yarra trail.

FEARS: I'd be lying if I said there were no fears. I am afraid to fail as I have taken this time out for me and feel a bit selfish. However, having faced my fears with my husband my best friend that he is, I am just trying to toss such thoughts out of my head to give myself the best possible chance ever! So lets declare the challenge open..... :)
Hungerpangs
Temptations
Pressure

GOAL for the month: To be true to myself and to be the best that I can be

Back again

My weight and my measurements are...
It is the 1st of January 2010 and I am back. This is not going to be one of the new year resolutions where I promise to be healthy for ever and ever. I am here simply because i have had the epiphany that I must be back here for my health and must get back on the horse again!

My stats:
Boobs 125.5 cm
Waist 132.5 cm
Abdomen 131 cm
Thigh 81 cm
Calf 49 cm
Arm 45 cm
Weight 113 or 114 kg by my weighing scales which are usually not trustworthy so I will wait and get to my gym and go with those as those are the digital ones I usually follow.

The Plan: I have taken the rest of the month off from work to focus on getting a good start, eating well, exercising well and being healthy and active. It is becoming more and more important to me to become healthy and seeing that I am approaching the big 40 in the end of March, I want to give myself the chance to becoming as close to healthy as I have ever been. I have had a reasonably unhealthy Xmas where it isnt the typical story of 'its Xmas and of course everyone indulges in excess'. However, I have identified that the moment I smell a whiff of success I immediately indulge in self sabotage. What is annoying is that after finally identifying it, I continued to do it yet again and this time I am determined not to do so again. Hence, like a meditation course, I am devoting a month to myself where I am the focus. I have never done this before in my life and I dont know if i will ever have the opportunity to do so again - after all, I am not a millionaire that can afford to not go to work!! Further details of this one month time off decision will be take the form of another blog.

My Team: consists of my trainer and his wife who is into nutrition and most of all my husband. I have been banned from taking on the role of housewife meanwhile as my gorgeous husband reckons that as this month is all about getting a really good start, the focus must continue to be activity and nutrition as I will be challenged in every way and getting bogged down in becoming the housewife will firstly end up with me spending more time in household chores after gym and also having to deal with more temptations and secondly it will take me away from experimenting with other activities I may not have tried before.Our gameplan is for me to be busy and active to the point where I will sleep well because my body will have earned it, I will have tired it to satisfying levels and hence instead of cooking and ironing whilst Dr Phil and Oprah will wax eloquent, I will be either jogging my brain in a library in between gym and swimming or explore Melbourne cycling along the Yarra trail.

FEARS:I'd be lying if I said there were no fears. I am afraid to fail as I have taken this time out for me and feel a bit selfish. However, having faced my fears with my husband my best friend that he is, I am just trying to toss such thoughts out of my head to give myself the best possible chance ever! So lets declare the challenge open..... :)

Hungerpangs
Temptations
Pressure

GOAL for the month: To be true to myself and to be the best that I can be