I am learning so many new things everyday - mostly positive:
I know that I enjoy exercise and being challengd by my trainer. This makes me happy because before today I did not know this. I said to my husband this morning - "you know I cannot imagine not exercising!". The moment I said these words I realised this was a first. In this long journey I believe that this is a great outcome for me. I can very easily not move. It comes naturally to me and I have to usually remember to move - to exercise. The journey to now feeling that I cannot NOT exercise has come about as a result of persistence and habit forming HAVING to exercise.
There will always be the threat of going back to the old ways but as long as I am aware as I have just become today - I will consciously have to decide NOT to exercise to get to the point of feeling unfit. I still have a lot of weight to lose but today I am happy that an intrinsic part of me - (my inherent tendency to not move) has been altered (for the moment) and whats more I am aware of this.
This means that I now have one less thing to work on and can focus on maintaining this whilst getting my food and nutrition correct. I know there is tremendous room for improvement here. It feels a bit comforting to know I have one less thing to get right. Nevertheless this does not take away the importance of making sure I do not fall off the exercise bandwagon. As per a blog I read earlier today I must "check in" focussing on food improvement. This "checking in" philosophy made me realise how high a bar I set for myself each time and of course I had to fail it at some point or other and then I beat myself for it and of course got onto the food bandwagon and continued the see saw. So instead of trying to be an army general trying to bring myself into line I want to recognise the failures and learn from them and move on. I dont want to make myself the mental wreck I have been making myself but instead I will think and eat and learn from the mistakes and NOT binge.
Heres looking forward to tomorrow CARPE DIEM!
9 months ago