Day 3 and going well.

Today is day 3 of my new life. I believe I have done better than I expected. As per calorieking I should be having 1700 calories per day. On Monday I totalled 1451kcals (this did include 2 biscuits unfortunately) and on Tuesday I used 1488 kcals and it was all healthy. I did go over the 200g limit on the carb though but not by much - 200.6.What brought me dangerously close to crossing the carb was a banana I had eaten. It wasnt a huge massive one - a regular sized <100g banana and it had all of 22.8grams of carb in it. And so when I went to cook my dinner, I had to do a lot of playing with the cals and their content to tailor it so I did not go hungry.In the end I believe each weightloss journey is different and we have to tailor things to our body patterns. So for instance I need to have a bigger breakfast so I do not have the munchies at 9am. So instead of 1/2 cup of oats I now have 3/4 cup of oats (dry weight). This keeps me going until 10am when I have my mandarin and a cup of tea.The annoying thing is that the calorie king website is great for monitoring th food side of things as the moment you are enot sure - all you have to do is enter the food and it tells you where you are at in terms of the calories/protein etc. However this great facility I have learnt can also be really annoying. This morning when my husband and I were cooking breakfast, I poured myself some orang juice and before I could take the hugely desired liquid to my lips he reminded me - 'dont forget to put it in the diary!' - I groaned and stoppd at my tracks and measured the juice, all 60 ml of it and then thought about whether it was worth having it or not - did a PhD on it and then made the informed decision to have it. One of my biggest pitfalls is what I term 'Invisible eating'. For me this happens quite easily and sometimes I even remember it days later - and then I wonder why I am not losing weight! So my new rule is to write down what I eat before I eat it!What do I want out of being healthy?I have asked myself this question many times. The answer is usually:
Be healthy and strong
Just feel as though I could go to a shop and pick what I wanted instead of actually checking first what items the shop actually had in my size and then decide from there.
Have more confidence. Look good next to my 70 kilo husband. Feel like I can match him step for step instead of him matching me.
LIVE LIFE 100% INSTEAD OF 50%
I find that although I do a lot of the things I want to, I hesitate with the little things like -
- Hating sitting on a foldable chair as I am always paranoid that it will break and I will look like a fool. You see when a skinny chick falls off a chair it is ok but when a fat chick falls off it is like it is all bcause of her weight! This makes me angry but also conscious.
- Feeling sorry for the size 30 person everyone on the street is staring at and pretending they are not looking. One of my flatmates once had a cousin from Greece visit her. We all went out for the night and I noticed that while my flatmate was running off ahead of her (being the conscious social butterfly she was she did not want to be associated with the fat cousin!), her cousin - a size 26 or thereabouts was puffing hopelessly being her. On reaching the pub, the flatmate went off to flirt with the barman while I sat with the cousin chatting. I could see she felt humiliated and hurt and quite ready to leave.
- Wearing a dress - I have never worn a dress in my life. I am one of those people that likes to wear clothes that look nice on me and not those that are en vogue. I would look bad in a dress at present and if I didnt look bad in it I would be conscious and uncomfortable in one. So for the moment my goal is to wear a dress at my brother in laws wedding in March sometime in Perth. This gives me 10 months to do so.
- Meanwhile I am ready for motherhood (what am I thinking) and so the hubby (who has been ready for the last 6 months but has been an absolute darling and not been pushy or hinting or anything) and I will start trying in Dec this year when we are holidaying in India (our honeymoon even though a year late by that stage). I want to have some semblance of health before we start the venture. I dont want to die on the operating table but be around for my gorgeous husband and baby.
There are so many instances that I am uncomfortable with that I feel like it all points to one direction: I am simply not comfortable with myself, I am ready to make that change and so here I am. The annoying thing is that having started my journey, I wanted to get to gym 5 days a week as I am already making 3 days easily - and I am down with flu! This means pretty much out of action for the week. Damn! But maybe this is a test of my resilience - albeit an early one.